As a numbers guy, I am a Maximizer who adores applying quantities for the qualities that make others and myself feel the best.
When I came across a bunch of heuristics that psychologists and front-line academics in the field of relationship science use, I rejoiced! In a few simple steps, a formula emerged to determine not only the most healthy of general relationships, but the strongest that have happened that future relationships can live up to.
The benefit for you comes in a copy of the Google Sheet algorithm! Packed with the learnings from 2023 and beyond, it will help you understand where your best relationships have been, where your current relationships are, and what to build towards for the future.
The Best Relationships Google Sheet (File -> Make a Copy)
I urge you to make a copy, do some reflection, and check the boxes that apply to you. It ought correlate with the best relationships you have had (high scores, green!) and ID the ‘meh’ interactions we all have some of in life (low scores, red!).
This also keeps us honest: the heat of honeymoon-butterfly-feelings, ignoring elephants in the room, sticking to higher standards and ideals, being realistic of what kind of person we can expect to find in the world given our experiences – all comes to light with authentic expectations and authentic fact-finding.
How has the alg affected me? I have improved the average of relationships by 11 basis points. I read even more literature on how to better the alg and my personal criteria. I show up intentionally from the very first impression. I do not do things when they jeopardize long-term goals or are otherwise dishonest to my life-long self. I have a better resistance to FOMO. I know better what I want and how to ask the questions that may answer those expectations.
(Just to name a few – expect this to benefit you too!)
–
Thanks for visiting, folks! Valentines Day is coming up – how is your current relationship or relationship set doing? Are you being true to your life-long self? The sheet above will help you double check your gut-check 🙂
Always looking for feedback – if you have sets of criteria (4-7 ish) that have come from elites in the realm of psychology, pass them along! It will make my life more assured and improve the lives of many others when I update them on Google. Plan is to add Esther Perel and the Gottman’s at some point.
Side note: Feeling lonely this cuffing season? Take heart – the shared sheet ought give you hope that quality people do exist in the world. Whether they are a romantic option or not at this place and time is a matter of iteration – get your ‘reps’ in by meeting folks and learning as much as you can about them and yourself along the way ❤
Look forward to happier living, folks. Cheers to identifying your best relationships ~
Jimmy Chattin 