Fiber > Fats > Protein > Carbs

The biggest takeaway from Jessie Inchauspé’s Glucose Revolution has to be this: the order you eat your kinds of food matters.

After reading the book a few months back, I experimented with this core concept. In order of what to eat first:

  1. Fiber – Does not get absorbed by the body, thus prevents what follows it from being broken down as easily, easing-in the body’s reaction to glucose. Does not include things that then contain a lot of convertible sugar, such as potatoes and whole fruit.
    • Veggies, fiber pills.
  2. Fats – What has been my go-to for years, fat satiates and tastes great. Getting the body into fat-burning mode (usually triggered when there is no free-floating sugar to consume) leads to lean looks and even the legendary ketosis mind-state (trust me, the clear thinking is a glorious feeling). Does not include most vegetable-derived oils due to the high amount of processing and dubious FDA regulation.
    • Grass-fed butter, coconut oil, avocados.
  3. Protein – You know the drill: protein satiates and builds muscle too. I have no credentials to show (so consult your own experts) when I personally advise against soy products for increases in estrogen potential – just something I like to avoid.
    • Pea protein, eggs, unprocessed/wild meats, hemp, nuts, seeds, legumes.
  4. Carbs – Any mostly-sugar foods. You will get most of the carbs you need from the above sections, so count these treats as a dessert you are consciously choosing. From those choices though, consider sugar-foods that combine with any of the above, such as whole fruit (fiber) or peanut butter to go with jelly (protein) while staying away from juices, crackers, et. al.
    • Grains, bread, potatoes, honey, fruit, oat milk, virtually all processed stuffs.

I have tried this order, pulling apart sandwiches and eating-in-order off my plate when before it was a free-for-all. I – an already fit and clean-eating individual – both see and feel a distinct difference. No longer does the afternoon slump come, even after gorging on a large lunch*! Nor comes hangover-like symptoms from having pasta and potatoes.

This all revolves around handling insulin spikes and dips in relation to titular glucose. I leave you to read Jessie’s book for the details. I leave the improved quality of my mind and body as anecdotal evidence 🙂

* Regarding large lunches, I have included fruit in the week leading up to this post. I now have been getting a low in the afternoons and poorer sleep. Only a coincidence?

Other Takeaways

Being an intelligent, aware individual attached to the internet, you already know to eat fewer processed things, keep your sodium intake down, eat at regular times, that dairy is troublesome, eat whole un-juiced things, reduce sugar intake in general, drink lots of water, move more (especially just after eating), and stuff about intermittent fasting.

But did you know that a tablespoon of vinegar can lower insulin spikes?

That eating more food can reduce weight? (If keeping in a reverse-order of 4 parts fiber, 3 parts fat, etc.)

Some artificial sweeteners lack the negative impact of others (like classical bad-guy aspartame)?

You are pretty darn cool?

Regardless of all else, try the simple sequence of fiber > fats > protein > carbs in your own diet – if it works half as well as it did for me these weeks, you are in for a treat ❤

Cheers to your health and wellbeing ~

Truth: The End Makes the Means

  1. Survive
  2. Survival in Work and School
  3. By Any Means Necessary
  4. Truth Just Is: Justice
  5. A Swift War of Survival
  6. Ends Elsewhere
  7. Controversy

Remember the Truth series? Suffering, simplifying, et. al?

Time to add to it.

Had planned to write a long thought-proof on why “the ends makes the means” is in close orbit to Truth. Instead, we start at base principles:

Survive

Similar to the content covered in what I know about business, for all things, survival is the end-all-be-all for, well, everything.

Nothing else matters until survival is guaranteed, no matter the means. All other ends, all other means, come secondary to the primal victory that is survival. The universe demands it:

  • No texts may be written for a sun long snuffed out, but the survival of the heavy matter it birthed leads to life (arguably a step to the meaningful purpose of the universe, if not the end itself – that being conscious life).
  • The thing that lives (by any means necessary) long enough to breed (again, by secondary means) survives on a genetic level to repeat the process.

The very fact of being capable of having this or counter thought is proof that survival by whatever means was required – if forbearers lacked the outcome of survival in any way, there is no way to think this end is anything but the ultimate course of everything.

Survival in Work and School

Whether being clever (i.e. cheating, reducing labor), charismatic (i.e. likeable, attractive), or strong (i.e. too good to ignore, confidence to impose will), succeeding at work and school and all other social ventures helps ensure one thing: genetic survival.

Schooling makes a person attractive and better prepared for work. Work gives a person resources by which they may support themselves, others, and afford social affirmations. Social cues of attractiveness (perceived intelligence, wealth, time spent in the care of grooming, et. al) brings others into a person’s orbit for the ultimate end: genetic survival.

By Any Means Necessary

There is… uncompassionate language all above. There will be more to come. Clearly there are statements of moral ambiguity.

This is true, as is the Truth: the end make the means.

Worthy of a post someday tying in ethics and suffering, morals are only those flexible, contextual considerations one can afford; any more and one’s naivete is taken advantage of, any less and one is ethically a monster, both routes a way to destruction.

Survival has a very tight budget on acceptable actions, and by nature Truth is morally ambiguous. Truth just is.

Truth Just Is: Justice

Justice seeks the Truth of a situation. By whatever means within the afforded morals of a society, justice is ideally the end from rational decisions based on factual and unbiased evidence. Just as Lady Justice is impartial within her blindfold, she is impartial to the morals or means of a situation: so long as the scales balance, justice has been done, the ends of society’s compact ensuring revenge for trespasses met.

Only after the ends of justice have been fulfilled do things like mercy or appeal come into effect. Mercy is a fickle secondary end to justice, a conscious balm to an idea of guilt for a systemic failing of society.

A Swift War of Survival

Speaking of an issue of society, a quick note on war.

For better or worse, war is. Should there be no war? For certain. That is an ideal, yes. Yet an imaginary one as it lies in the hypothetical future. We are only left with the Truth: war is.

So society must deal with war. Harking back to survival being the goal, no war exists if all participants are not crusading to facilitate the survival of themselves, their kin, or their ideologies (i.e. the governance of resources).

If one aims to remain ethical (i.e. do perhaps the only Good in the world: reduce net suffering), it behooves a society to make the ‘best’ of war, conduct a better war, a wholehearted effort. As Lady Justice’s sword of judgement is swift and final, better wars are swift, overwhelming, precise, and ultimately minimize suffering by guaranteeing the survival of a particular set of participants at the expense of another set.

Ends Elsewhere

Genetics, culture, justice, war – a few further explorations of the end making the means as a fundament of existence:

  • Lessons of History outlines “good” being the thing that survives.
  • In medicine, how few are the cures that cause more suffering than the disease. Radiological and chemical poisons, the cutting apart of skin and organs, pinpricks and pain – all to the benefit of the sick.
  • Caught in a trap, which limb is so sacred it would not be taken off to save the entrapped?
  • Wanting the body to feel or look or exist in a state it needs to, going through the wringer of exercise or emotional maturity or flexing mental growth (all hurtful) delivers the sought-for gains.
  • Quality art is quality art, regardless of the means of production (e.g. AI). Just as a starving body cares not where the next calorie is derived, a glutton may dare turn up their nose for the merest slight. Only those with the capacity – the affordance after baser ends have been met – can judge on means rather than ends.
  • Acting on one’s idea of ‘Love’ can do more net harm than benefit – this is the stuff of aberration and abuse.
  • The road to Hell is paved with good intentions.
  • “Don’t do unto others what you don’t want done unto you.” – paraphrasing Confucius, the Anti-Golden Rule
  • “Do or do not, there is no try.” – Yoda

Controversy

I attempt here to address the counter arguments I struggled with in dissecting that the end makes the means. This will be incomplete, so please add your own takes in the comments that we may wrestle with!

“How you do one thing is how you do everything.” This speaks to means – low quality effort, low quality outcome. The quote here assumes a linear A-to-B causation. Starting with the end in mind, B-to-* allows a person to walk-back the outcome to some starting point A required to achieve that outcome. With respect to the Oppenheimer movie in theaters at the time of writing, the end production of an atomic weapon justified every means leading up to the final product.

“Prior practice prevents poor performance.” More A-to-B thinking here. The goal is optimal performance – begin there, then practice (and quality practice at that!) is not directionless, but necessary. Only if ‘not poor performance’ is the goal can ‘prior practice’ be considered.

“Doing for the joy of it.” For the joy of it. Nothing done is done for the sake of the doing – there is an end, even if it is the sought-for positive feeling of action. (This applies to the learning of trivia or gathering of any excess.)

There is no, seemingly can be no, means without an end in mind. Can “the end makes the means” be reasonably controversial if the Truth of it just is?

The base principle of survival (an end that justifies itself) leads firmly to a Truth of existence: the end makes the means.

Nothing I have wracked my brain for or discovered in study concludes differently beyond reproach. I entertain the idea that perhaps when means would taint the end – something that could not be forgotten, washed away, a haunting of origin – then I see a possible discussion being had. Until then, this is the end of my exploration.

Always tentative when tackling a potentially touchy subject, give me a sanity check – how far off is this line of thinking? What was missed? I want to know because in the end, being Truthful is better than being “right” – an end worthy of whatever means.

Cheers ~

July August Goal Review

  1. Move (Again)
    • Won! On the beach just in time to go for a swim with a set of keys now in the treasury of Poseidon (ie I lost some keys 😅) The rest of the time has been great – out every day! Can’t wait to be in the water all this summer 🙂
  2. Festivals & Travel
    • Won! I write this now as a I travel. And the festivals? =Frikken fantastic.= Reminded me of capacities I have not stretched in a while! Making some new friends and acquaintances along the way.
  3. Stocks
  4. Audit
    • Won! Time, people, finances, stuff, and more have been under the gun. I have taken some steps to make more and less time, but perhaps August can help with that:

August Goal Proposal

  1. “No” Week
    • Like a fast, a resetting of the mind and body. Goal is to take a random set of 7 consecutive days in the month to say “no” to all new functions and asks (it starts on the 18th). If I am interested, I ought ask. Regardless, a tracking of what gets “no”-ed and how I feel and what I ask for will be kept for evaluation. Who and what and when can then be evaluated for their applicability to my life later.
  2. Appointments o’ Function
    • Duty calls. DMV trips, doc appointments, and a few other personal maintenance matters requires my attention. Fight to get them done, at the least getting them on the calendar before the next change of season.
  3. Appointments o’ Fun
    • I have been letting a lot of things go either through neglect or waiting on others. This violates a motto of mine: “Wait for no-one.” So I must cut this time out for myself to enjoy things like dance lessons, my first surf lesson, martial arts, a new climbing gym, and writing outlines to stories I have been playing with. Oh, and of course, swim and eat my way through the neighborhood and city ~
  4. Sleep
    • I have been doing something iffy with my sleep. I wonder if it is the city’s air? Anyway, to get back on the foundation of quality living, I am setting a recurring alarm for August for 9 PM to get inside, 10 PM to be under bed sheets. This will require saying “no” to a lot of opportunities and communicating my own boundaries – all things I am less than familiar with. A journal of sleep quality will help things along methinks!
  5. Bonus: 4 Days No Internet
    • Two solo days and one pair of days where I take the day without internet (with exception to work-work where I get paid). How will this feel? I’ve done week-long camping trips before, but perhaps this reset along with the “no” week will do me some justice.

While more a fan of succeeding just under 100%, the occasional completion of all goals in a month is nice 🙂 Yay, July!

For now though, August: Getting back on the themes of “no”. I have been stretching myself to lengths that are objectively not my forte. But hey, I am my own responsibility, and that is so very empowering 🔥

Anywho, happy August your way! Stay cool, gird yourself for battles upon your personal hills, and continue to be excellent. Cheers ~

Ready to Put Out the FIRE

FIRE: Financial Independence, Retire Early (or whenever)

I have been on the FIRE path for years. It has defined major decisions in my life and a plethora of choices ranging from jobs to travel to relationships. (Checkout the blog for all I have said on the matter.)

The times be a-changin’, my passions cooled… I may be ready to put out the FIRE.

Where FIRE Got Us

FIRE has fit me for how it answered the life question “what makes all else easier or unnecessary?” Financial Independence – breaking the shackles of debt from living – is the key, is the ’42’, for me. Looking around, it is the key for so many in the world.

Cutting costs has led me to an objectively better life of freedom, flexibility, and self-knowledge of what materials and activities are actually important:

  • Through a life of minimalism I can move all I own in a single personal vehicle.
  • I know the foods that both fuel and bring me joy day in and out.
  • Without little things to distract me, I have more time for friends, physical health, learning, and creating.
  • To optimize my net worth, I understand how to manage my psyche along with the “game” of society and finance as a whole.
  • Discipline is a lifelong practice, yet I can take a sense of pride in how far I have come in regards to my impulses and expectations and growth.
  • I fear virtually no ill or ailment – the bed I have made for myself can take very severe falls.

Being on fire for FIRE, I look towards hitting the milestones of FI *soon*.

Dowsing the Flames

But that “Retire Early” piece… One of the best suggestions on the FIRE scene is to take mini-retirements – from a month to a year or so – to try out that life. Find something to retire towards rather than retire from corporate work life.

See, I have tried that. In a way. A few ways.

Whether over times of unemployment or taking long vacations, I find myself hitting the same patterns:

  • Start projects again: Writing, roleplaying games, game mods, reconnect with friends, hike, travel, get involved in extracurriculars, playing a video game or two (the least likely activity to happen), and a few other things.
  • Rebalance finances and calculate how long a hiatus I can take in.
  • Experiment with alt income sources; these ultimately fizzle as I realize it is more optimal to either work “for the Man” or to take the time off.
  • Make great strides in the projects, but stop before crossing the finish line. (I suck in bringing things to market – I clearly am no entrepreneur.)
  • Experience encroaching loneliness as no-one else seems to be at the “leisure” time of their life.
  • Chastise myself for working even longer hours for myself rather than learn how to rest.
  • Begin to go stir-crazy as I repeat the patterns above, battling with a sense of FOMO as salaried income would further cut chunks out from under the ol’ FIRE milestone dates.

This can last up to six months.

Then the applications begin, the entertaining of inquisitive software recruiters, the prioritizing of coding and refreshing social-manipulation skills (i.e. interview performances).

And the cycle continues.

It makes me feel I will not retire anytime soon. That I am not ready for it without some serious self-work. In the meantime, it would be unfair to claim I am on FIRE.

FIRE has been a useful guide. A maker of the person typing this out now. Yet just as a useful hiking stick no longer matches the terrain ahead – has not for a while – I can let to down with the sincerest of “thank yous” for getting me this far. I may find something else that sparks joy.

As I have grown over the years to come to better understand the world and myself, I can only expect that spark will return.

As I am ready to put out the FIRE of my life, how about you? Where have you pivoted in life, either from experience or necessity? Any learnings for the guy who is looking to replace his rudder?

Lemme know. Wherever your path goes, take care. Cheers to our journeys crossing in fair weather ~

#PaidMe2023

Restarting the tradition that began as a hashtag in the summer of 2020, I am back to share with you my data once again!

All the below are estimates using free online resources. Your mileage may vary.

The Data

THP – Take Home Pay (assuming only income taxes without contributions apply)
Inf – Inflation (not used for the year of writing, ’23)
CoL – THP normalized to national Cost of Living

Senior Software Engineer, L3
Base Pay: $175,000
THP (after effective tax of 32.54%): $118,050
CoL: $71,545 (THP / location’s decimal-percentage CoL)
Aerospace Company
Westside Los Angeles Metro Area, CA

Excluding all stock, bonus, and other amenity info. Checkout Glassdoor (use an incognito browser) and levels.fyi for great value-add resources.

Takeaways

California income taxes suck. Guess that is why so many CA tech companies offer stock and options, those taxed at a different, i.e. lower, rate!

I haven’t experienced too harshly the cost of living change – housing nearly triples the national average, but Airbnb and fully-furnished month-to-month options are perhaps 100-150% vs 200% higher. Not to mention what would happen with a roommate(s)!

Regardless, take-home pushes me ever closer to financial independence FI while allowing luxuries in some lifestyle choices (e.g. no need for roomies).

That is it for this year! Checkout 2021’s data (skipped 2022 – the company gave no raises [I should be “appreciative” that the stock went up, which then proceeded to nosedive] before summer layoffs).

Wanna talk numbers? Would =adore= getting to hear! Curious about an offer or the non-base-pay bits left out of this post? Hit me up for a call!

It is dangerous to go out into the working world alone – I am hear for you. Until needed, I send you cheers in your pay and careers ~

Tribe of Mentors: A Share of Value

Tim Ferriss’s “Tribe of Mentors” is a fantastic book. Heck, I have shared it more than any other gift.

Out of the multitude of mentors that have added to the tome (it is a thicc boi of a book), there is sage advice and practical example for… just about everything 🤷‍♂️

“Tribe of Mentors” holds so much benefit to this day – about high time I added to its share of value with my own answers to Tim’s questions. The 11 stellar Qs abbreviated below:

  1. New belief / behavior / habit in the last five years?
  2. Best purchase $100 or less?
  3. Favorite failure?
  4. Most gifted book(s)?
  5. A better billboard message? Why?
  6. Best investment(s)?
  7. Adored unusual-habit or absurdity?
  8. New grad advice? Advice to ignore?
  9. Bad advice from the professional field?
  10. How to regain focus when lost / overwhelmed?
  11. What to say “no” to in the last five years? Other tips?

New belief / behavior / habit in the last five years?

5 years spans the pandemic era – so much has changed… Yet those are things in the world I cannot control, or was unduly influenced by.

For myself, the best improvement to my life comes from being less patient, having the hard conversations sooner.

Whether talking compensation for a job or explicitly defining a romantic relationship or getting appreciation / apprehension / affection / apology aired ASAP, candid talk early and often has reaped for me unequalled dividends.

Best purchase $100 or less?

I do not buy knickknacks or trivial items to then keep around, let alone every 6 months (the original Q’s time span). So I answer in two parts:

The most valuable material gifts I have received in the last 2 years (I assume under $100) have been a coffee mug warmer I spy next to me now along with the Bluetooth earbuds at my other hand. Keeping my tea steaming and my music/audiobooks streaming adds a high quality to life.

What I buy for myself would have to be my supplements. Ashwagandha (KSM-66 variant), L-Carnitine, Lion’s Mane mushroom powder, MCT oil, Maca powder, Beetroot powder, probiotics – I live a better life through manipulating my body chemistry with these. Never wish to be without!*

* Their total cost might be more than $100 every 6 months 😅 11-out-of-10 doesn’t matter as I am a better human being for them 💯

Favorite failure?

Plenty of mistakes have been made, plenty of pettiness and ignorance… To pick a favorite?

A relatively recent one would be declining to go to Italy for a wedding – a poverty-mindset mistake I will never do again. This decision broke me from most of my penny-pinching, freeing me from shackles I unwittingly fitted myself for 😅

But the biggest must be my failure in higher education. I failed to choose the better schools I could have been admitted into, I failed to choose Computer Science over a Mathematics major, I failed to build more relationships and balance relaxation and let so much just happen.

Without those big failures, I would not have maintained the friendships I do have. Jobs would not have come when they did. Struggles and objective suffering would have passed me by and I would be a lesser person without them.

All the choices about higher education wrapped together is my favorite failure. Final answer.

Most gifted book(s)?

Easy, and spoiled in the intro: “Tribe of Mentors” 😂 Too much useful information here. Bonus: when I gift my copy, I get someone else’s markup to reference when it is given back 😉

Influential books? I will speak of nonfiction here while using some “this-is-my-blog-so-deal” authority to give 4 titles:

  • “The Prince” – Machiavelli’s work exposed many, many patterns in life to me. I am more a cynic, more the realist, more guarded against and respectful of the capabilities in others and I for his treatise.
  • “The Art of War” – Brilliant. Tactics and strategy that translates into fundamental principles for living. It holds up thousands of years after being written.
  • “Never Split the Difference” – Less a guide and more a psychology on everyone coming away with what they need in life. I quote it often, having applied it professionally, socially, and personally.
  • “Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus” – This ol’ book has not aged all that well. Science and methodology and society as a whole have moved on from it. Why it makes the list is that it gave me such language to explain how others and I behaved in relationships that hadn’t previously made the cut. The topic also brought me to other improvement works, where I would come to read the likes of Esther Perel, Logan Ury, James J. Sexton, and the gestalt at large (in addition to my own observations).

A better billboard message? Why?

One message? One? These are artificial restrictions. If there would be one thing, it ought be the Truth, but we cannot get the Truth. Instead, we can get close. Let me lend a medley after deep, non-exhaustive consideration:

  • Survive.
  • Suffering Is.
  • Be Attractive.
  • Knowledge is a terrible thing.
  • Competition is for chumps.
  • Be Better.
  • “Do not go gentle into that good night. Rage, rage against the dying of the light.” – Dylan Thomas
  • “Be ashamed to die until you have won some victory for humanity.” – Horace Mann
  • “[Evil], it is built into the very nature of the universe. Every world spins in pain. If there is any kind of supreme being[,] it is up to all of us to become [their] moral superior.” – Terry Pratchett

Best investment(s)?

The investment in the principles that serve myself, and by extension the world. (Warning: here comes some self-praise:)

My Body is fit. It is attractive, strong, endures, and is a machine capable of incredible things 9 of 10 other people are not ready for.

My Mind is vast. The very wonder of its connections surprises me regularly. Like a sea, not even I have charted its patterns, plunged its depths for certain.

My Soul Is. I look inward to explore the dark and the past, all while others praise me for the light my character would seem to shed upon them.

I am a temple to which I give and hold sacrament (learn, exert, sacrifice for, cherish) on the daily. (Wow, self-aggrandizing much??)

Adored unusual-habit or absurdity?

CATS ❤ But adoring them only makes sense…

Cold showers! Yet there is a lot of rational science backing up this habit…

Butter on bitter, 100% chocolate. Creamy and crunchy. Slightly sweet and biting flavor ~ A great breakfast.

New grad advice? Advice to ignore?

Already too late to tell them that the grades hardly matter, or to invest their efforts into the market, or that all this too will pass…

Instead:

  • Everything is a negotiation. No-one is your chief advocate but you, nor should they be your biggest fan – that’s you! (Always ask for more value.)
  • Be visible everywhere; out of sight is out of mind and you never want to be out of mind.
  • Work less, but under promise, over deliver. Act humble knowing (because you have done the self-work, have gathered the evidence you keep to yourself) that you can catch and eat the other 9 people in the room.
  • Actually, just take some more career advice from Scott Galloway along with his advice on happiness.

What to ignore:

  • Passion. F- your passion. Go be excellent at something that you will spend little time on, get paid lots on, and give you leeway to explore your passions on the weekends and evenings.
  • Fairness. If this hasn’t been ground out of you yet, fairness is a construct. Gird yourself to be treated unfairly and equip the tools required to fight unfairly.

Bad advice from the professional field?

Hmmm… In tech, IDK. Stay up on the frontline of technical topics? Code when not at work?

If tech might be important, it will start showing up in popular media (news, recent sci fi, etc.). Things move so fast, single frameworks or methods or areas of development are gone in less than it takes to earn a college degree. So stay flexible on principles, the ability to learn, and getting people to like you (be interested and interesting).

Get paid to do the thing you are good at. For me, coding is one such thing. I will code every week even when not paid to do so (i.e. unemployment), but will not code twice in a day (e.g. job and hobby). So relax when you leave work (and leave work!) to become a more interesting person with more passions.

How to regain focus when lost / overwhelmed?

Easy. Answer flexible based on what is at hand or is needing to be done:

  • HALTS – Address hunger (eat something salty and fatty, hydrate), anger (journal, meditate, exercise), loneliness (reply to texts, tell someone of their importance in your life), tiredness (naps, meditation), and stress (relocate, disengage, doodle).
  • Exercise – Pull a resistance band, pump some pushups, hike the stairs, squat real fast, stretch. Get the heart going.
  • Music – You best have a banger of a playlist to get into whatever mood you want to be in. Set up a few for yourself – I had many once, but now I go back to just a few for brain work, physical work, and rest.
  • Supplements – Lions Mane, MCT Oil, L-Carnitine, probiotics, caffeine stacked with L-Theanine. These will get one into the right headspace in no time flat 😊

What to say “no” to in the last five years? Other tips?

Over this current era of my life, I have been getting better at a few things:

Do not say “no” for others. Ask for my wants and needs. Here is a post on that.

Be more selfish. This includes being less agreeable (my greatest bane and boon). Do things because I enjoy them, or need it – say “no” to virtually all else.

Be long-term. Do fewer things that are only a short-term opportunity, especially saying “no” to that which loans energy from the future. Think about next year, and discipline the day.

I owe a friend for suggesting I answer some of these. Owe Tim Ferriss for putting out this valuable read. Owe it to myself to grow and be better from the insights of others.

I want to hear your take – no need to answer all the Qs, just a few. I want your answers 💯 And if I need to expand, let me know that too – never shy about adding clarity!

Which books and mentors have helped you? They will be my next read – cheers to the growth you and I pursue ~

June July Goal Review

May was a hiatus, but June got back in the saddle:

June Goal Review

  1. 6 Blogs
    • Won! I think? So much has happened, I have lost track of the backlog!
  2. Commit to Living Spaces
    • Won! A block away from the beach, mid-July sees me moving and thinking about surfing 😁
  3. Wedding Travel
    • Won! Easy one that needed respect for June. It was a super-swell celebration ❤
  4. Private (Personal)
    • Failed. Getting sick mid-June and a week of unscheduled travel (at the time of last month’s post) after the wedding really put a damper here. If I am honest, I did not do this goal justice.
  5. Bonus: V4
    • Nope! No bonus this month of bouldering a V4. (As I write, it has been two weeks since last getting to the climbing gym!)

July Goal Proposal

  1. Move (Again)
    • As mentioned, to the beach! Will be happening in a few weeks, yet there is paperwork to handle in the meantime.
  2. Festivals & Travel
    • Planned (and tentative) travel and festivals over the first few weekends in July speak to an important goal: Living my best life, taking not this place nor this time for granted. Celebrate!
  3. Stocks
    • I haven’t picked-picked stocks in a long, long while. I ought be giving my investments a re-assessment. This could take some time as I see what to study, buy, and sell 🤞
  4. Audit
    • I need to understand where (and to what/whom) my time, attention, and energies go to. Cuts will be made, while more time will make it to the calendar (because if not on the calendar, it doesn’t exist!). Thinking a minimum 10% best and worst range.

Really ought to add a bonus to June – I had to get a new car! Overall, 75% given all the rest is very acceptable in my book!

Audacious goals, amiright? 😁

So four more up for July. I already think that may be a bit much with where things are going on the daily. We will see. And perhaps… IDK. Thoughts I will keep to myself for now!

Where are you headed in July? Will there be music and sun and friends and fun??? I hope so – all my best to you! Cheers~

Not to Say “No” for Others

  1. “Yes”
  2. What This Might Be
  3. They Are Just Like You
  4. Do You!
  5. “No” Is a Full Phrase

Something important I have come to understand:

Stop saying “no” for others.

When there is a want or need, what would go through my head: Am I being overbearing? Unreasonable with this boundary? If they wanted this, why have they not asked? There is X and Y and they said Z before – does that all mean I should understand they would say “no”?

It takes only a few seconds. In those few seconds a slew of reasons and rationale leads me to conclude “no” to whatever it was I had in mind.

You may have felt this too – “no” is the only acceptable answer for this other person. What else could they say?

“Yes”

That’s what.

To every “no” there lies the possible “yes.” But we never discover a “yes” if we don’t ask. Think of it as a Schrodinger’s Response: We cannot find out if inside the other person is a “yes” or a “no” unless they let out their feelings.

You likely lack the skills of a mind-reader, so why hesitate to “let the cat out of the bag?”

What This Might Be

Fear.

Specifically, fear of rejection.

When we ask, when we invite that response, we reveal our own vulnerability. The other party could say “no.” They would be and should be enabled to give any response in freedom – regardless, rejection a “no” would be.

Worse yet, we may have cracked-open a Pandora’s Box. We have shown our cards and been found wanting. Been found disgusting or lesser or comedic or base just for the asking. This is a ridiculous expectation if you have done the work to be attractive to yourself and others – a likelihood so low, let us talk no more of it.

Back to rejection: There is only so much rejection one can take before the asking, the trying, is no longer worth the hurt. If you are the only one asking, the compounding rejections will make for a pattern of “no” – this tells you more about the other person than yourself. Perhaps it is time to re-evaluate.

But also consider:

They Are Just Like You

They might be afraid to ask you too.

Tough talk: You are not special. Nor is the other person. The Law of Averages and the Regression to the Mean and a boatload of other lessons prove such as irrefutable. This is reason to take heart: the feelings you are feeling? The things you want and need?

Likely the other person feels and wants and needs the same way too 🙂

Do You!

This lesson comes down to being more selfish. Have the audacity to ask for what you want and need. You must be your best advocate in the world – care for yourself when others might be unable to.

So ask! Or as late salesperson Zig Ziglar would put it, always “ask for the order.”

“No” Is a Full Phrase

You have gotten over yourself, the mind-killing fear, and made the ask. “No” appears. What next?

First: “No” is a full and complete phrase. It is one of the starkest expressions one can make. It comes at face-value – no insight or intuition or assumptions needed. It carries no entitlement for the one asking. It is one of the first words learned by children. “No” brokers no argument.

Second: There may be caveats. Perhaps it is the wrong time, place, context. Maybe the other party has bad breath or is hungry or cold. Or you need to clean your teeth. Who knows! The “no” stands for now – clarity and change might mean you are welcome to ask again in the future.

Third: Now you know. You can and will and must move on. That feeling of rejection, if you have it? That too shall pass, as would the elation of the “yes.” Aren’t you glad you found out? #KnowledgeIsPower

While I have come across other advice to have better social exchanges, the simple suggestion to not say “no” for others has been one of the most valuable tools added to my toolbox this year.

It cuts to the chase, eliminates a lot of the guesswork, improves authenticity and communication, and grows trust (just to name a few bennies ~).

Who have you been saying “no” for lately? With the above, I hope you will stop supposing and start knowing! Cheers to us living better lives ~

I Advise the Big Toe

Checking out cars lately, driving strange and novel contraptions, I miss my electronic performance monitors that are built into Toyota Priuses. Without seeing the efficiency of the engine and the track of a trip’s MPG, how can a person know that they are driving well?

I advise the Big Toe.

This simple technique eases acceleration, maintains consistent speeds, and reduces the chance of flooring it, an absolute killer of driving performance. For me, it gave 48-52 MPG consistently in the Prius and allowed a 2021 Mitsubishi Mirage (combined MPG of ~40) to reach high-40s and even touch 50 MPG a few trips.

Was I keeping up with traffic? Absolutely! Heck, the Big Toe method required that I get out of right-lanes and into passing-lanes more often than not.

Here is how to leverage this skill your own way:

  1. With the car in Drive, rest your foot flat on the accelerator, heel anchored to the floor.
  2. Gently curl your big toe down and in – like you are squeezing your toes – while keeping the heel at the same angle. You are not pushing the foot down or pivoting on the heel, only curling the big toe.
  3. Profit! You are now getting on your way with a gentle acceleration at very little effort. You are driving lightly with big gains to performance, consistency of technique, and a general pleasantness to others on the road.

Gotta give credit where due, since the Big Toe is not my own: Remember the show SpongeBob? The animated sponge that lives in a pineapple under the sea? How about now?

Some of the best driving advice I can advise on comes from SpongeBob’s attempts to get their drivers license, friend Patrick helping them cheat on the test. I tried it out with the Prius’s performance tools to measure gains of conservatively 7-8 MPG!

Wisdom can be found in so many places 😂

Though I advise the Big Toe, don’t take my (or SpongeBob’s / Patrick’s) word for it. Try it out for a week, see where you go.

Report back here! Am I just imagining the improvement? Supposing I am a better driver for the wrong reasons? Let me know, I look forward to improving. Cheers to your travels!

TLDR Adventures With Cars

A week and two days after moving to a new city, my catalytic converter was stolen from outside my home.

With a national backorder of 6 to 9 months to get the part, my glorious little car that saved me in COVID and gave me my first taste of nomad life is deemed a “total loss.”

Should I be sad? I do not feel sad. I feel more annoyed at adding more things to the TODO list – police reports, insurance calls, rental car handling, coordinating with a mechanic shop, shopping for cars, calling sellers, testing out new cars, updating work with the temporary vehicle that will be onsite… All that, and a sense of indignancy – how dare they? The audacity!

* shrug * So we do. Managing all that, I ought have a new vehicle (🤞) sometime the week after this posting.

Whatever the case, I recommend getting a shield for your expensive car parts.

Thank you for understanding that this is a short blog this week. My attention is elsewhere, though will be back here next week! I will save the topic of month goals for that coming post and how this event has affected things.

Happy June, y’all. Cheers to having a boring relationship with the automotive concerns in your life ~